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Biting is normal…let’s not blame the mother

A two-year old girl has allegedly been assaulted by a four year old at a gym creche on the Northern Beaches, NSW. The parents and papers are gunning for the creche providers to be held accountable. Babies & Toddlers is not one to get involved in tabloid news debates but we are interested in issues facing parents today. It appears that the child sustained bruising to the face and bite marks on her face and back from another child. (We would like to highlight how it feels to be a parent of a child that bites, pushes or hits another child) Our angle is not about who is to blame but how it feels to be a parent of a child that bites, pushes or hits another child. I am sure most mothers have been through a similar situation either in a playground, playgroup or at home (although hopefully not as severe). I have worn both hats, mother of victim and mother of biter. The social media comments made about the parenting of the mother of the four year old boy are alarming. It is sad we live in such a judgemental society where the culture of blame has become norm. It is fair for the girls parents to blame the lack of supervision by the creche staff but it is not fair for other mums to blame the mum of the boy. As mums we go through enough emotion day in day out bringing up our kids – let’s stick together not judge each other.

Letter in response to article, Girl’s creche trauma, Manly Daily, Tuesday 26th August 2014 published in Manly Daily, Thursday 28th August

While I sympathise with any mother whose child has been bitten; I am compelled to write this letter in defense of the gym creche staff and in sympathy towards the mum whose child has been suspended from the creche and his actions made the front page of the Manly Daily.

As a mum of two kids who both went through the biting phase; it is not nice when your child bites another child. It’s a big social ‘no, no’ and you are left feeling like the worst mum in the world.

Both my kids have bitten other kids and they have been bitten whilst in my care. The staff at Virgin Active could not have prevented the bite. A bite can happen in seconds. Innocent play can result in a bite as biting is usually born of frustration seldom aggression.

Gym creches should provide a level of care and security for our children but they are not daycare environments and children are unpredicatable beasts!

Biting is a normal phase. Many kids do it and all grow out of it. Mum of bitten child, I am sorry your child got bitten but mum of biter, I feel more for you, as I expect you are feeling pretty rubbish at the moment.

 


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